Let Casey Anthony Help You Be a Better Person
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- Category: Chase McGee
- Published on Thursday, 07 July 2011 16:30
- Written by Chase McGee
Let me begin by saying that I have every suspicion that Casey Anthony had an intimate role in the death of her daughter. What that entails I can only conjecture, but as there are enough theories ranging from the unsubstantiated to the completely ludicrous, I’m going to avoid making my own choose-your-own-adventure storyline here. This is a discussion for anyone outraged by the verdict about how you can make yourself a better person, and how Casey can help you be successful in that endeavor.
The Double Standard
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- Category: Chase McGee
- Published on Tuesday, 28 June 2011 20:00
- Written by Chase McGee
Two girls walk into a bar, both have excessive control issues, no tolerance for opposing views and an assault and battery rap sheet that would make Mike Tyson faint. One girl, the more attractive of the two, drove in a Maserati offering to trade an upper shelf Scotch for a cigarette. The other, drove in an ’88 Toyota Tercel and can only afford Pabst Blue Ribbon.
Now if the gentleman of the room gave pause a moment and assessed their options – the two girls being the only members of their sex present, they would most likely come to the conclusion that Girl #1 presented the most enticing opportunity and would, most likely with the stammer of an four year old after wetting himself, try to initiate a conversation with her.
Stop Calling Me "The American People"
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- Category: Chase McGee
- Published on Friday, 29 April 2011 21:08
- Written by Chase McGee
There is an extraordinary beauty in the shades of color and the depth of difference one finds in our nation. Every conceivable characteristic with which the men and women that comprise this country are imbued is but a dot on the spectrum of the American experience. You are black, I am white. You are a Catholic, I am an atheist. You are a Republican, I am a Democrat. Yet, as with the spectrum, there is an inalienable interconnectivity between us. We walk the same soil, we breath the same air, we rejoice in prosperity, and we grieve in times of loss.
The Cage Match We Want to See
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- Category: Chase McGee
- Published on Tuesday, 19 April 2011 10:04
- Written by Chase McGee
"The president says, 'I want you to send me a clean bill.' Guess what, Mr. President. Not a chance you're going to get a clean bill." – John "The Orange Bawler" Boehner
This was an oft-quoted line in all the major media outlets relaying Speaker Boehner response to Barack "The Pushover" Obama's request to produce a bill raising the debt ceiling devoid of any riders.
Let Zombie Reagan Die Already
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- Category: Chase McGee
- Published on Tuesday, 08 February 2011 21:04
- Written by Chase McGee
Sometimes I think many Republicans use "God" and "Ronald Reagan" interchangeably. In some cases, I wonder if they know the difference. The reverence, bordering on fanatical, lavished upon the late president is worthy of great awe, regardless of your political affiliation. Having been deified for vigilantly adhering to the ideals of pure conservatism by promoting limited government and a family-values agenda, Reagan became the face of fiscal austerity and moral fortitude.
Dear Santa
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- Category: Chase McGee
- Published on Wednesday, 15 December 2010 15:19
- Written by Chase McGee
The season of proffering joy by means of plastic breakables and grandma-knit sweaters is upon us. It is during this time we reflect upon the year to rejoice in its merriment while basking in the glow of love emanating from family togetherness. The children sit at the window straining their ears for the faintest jingle of sleigh bells and eagerly await the red-suited, gentle giant with his bag full of goodies. This year, with my future in jeopardy as a different type of red shrouds the halls of Congress, I decided to exploit that youthful innocence for its persuasive power. Below is a letter to Santa I found which was written by nine year old, Chad McGarrity, a boy with whom I have absolutely no association.
